Thursday, January 28, 2010

Don’t leave the party early...



(I ran this column by a wise woman, who is a widow and has gone through many difficult experiences in her life, to see if she would filter these thoughts for sensitivity. She understood and found the humor in it too. Since each person’s perspective is unique, I believe that understanding each other is a key. And so I can dare to write from where I am at the present time.)


***


“Don’t leave the party early!”

This thought came to me one evening while outside doing chores. The cold gray winter sky gave a mournful feeling to the night. I thought it was a strange idea to come into my mind at that time because I had been thinking of the people who had touched my life but now were gone.


I was also dealing with physical pain that was capturing my mind with pulsating thoughts of “how do you make it through?”


And so the thought of a party didn’t seem too logical. “Life”... as a “party”? I don’t think so. There have been so many painful times. On the other hand, I have met so many wonderful people.


So as I did chores I took time to mull over this “party” concept in my mind.


If someone leaves a party early it may be that they have other plans. Or they had to be home at a certain time. It comforted me to think about their leaving in this way.


But what about those left behind? Like, what if I had been the “date” of the person who left? And what about being in physical pain?

Or was this thought just meant as a warning to me... not to leave the “party” early?


Another thought that overwhelmed me was how messy my work space was at home. Sometimes I just grimace when I look at the folders and stuff piled on the floor around my desk.

And I cringed when I thought of someone else trying to clean it up, if I “left the party” early. That would be embarrassing.


Then there’s the memory of a relative who “left” too soon, it seemed. Later, when her house was sold, some of us went to help her kids clear it out.

It wasn’t a mess like at my house. It was just the effort to organize things to give away. But still it was a daunting job.


And so one relative commented to me that she was going to have to straighten up her things so her children wouldn’t have to go through this.

I replied, “Well, I’m not. I’m going to get back at my kids for the messy bedrooms they had when they were teenagers!”


Another thought came when a friend explained that they were working their way through grieving in this New Year. Not just for themselves but for what others were going through.


I understood her thought. But then I don't think we ever get done grieving... we just give our thoughts a different name... and our feelings become more contemplative... and somehow we survive.


Then the beauty that we saw before touches us again... although only moment by moment... as short breaths in time.


And it is good.


Monday, January 25, 2010

Proud to be a Viking fan!

To the Minnesota Vikings!

It's taken me until this morning to come to come to peace with my thoughts...

You see, not all the "suffering" was on the field during last nights game!

Thanks for a wonderful season.

I'm proud to be a Viking fan.

I'm pleased about the talent you all have shown on the field and the fine character qualities I
have discovered when interviewing members of the team.

And I appreciate the example you all have given me to persevere and keep on going.

Thanks again.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Best Way to View the Rose Parade?

Watching the beautiful flowers decorating the floats and horses at the Rose Parade on TV on January 1st is a tradition for many. I have done it for 50 years so I've got it well planned out.

I settle in a big old recliner and have the remote control rigged to flip between the channels showing the parade. I find out which one is positioned nearest the beginning of the parade so I can watch that one first and see a repeat by flipping to the other channel.

This year I added my laptop because I found that one TV station in Los Angeles (KTLA) was showing the parade on the internet. And it had a Kenyon, MN. girl, Stephanie Edwards, announcing the entries along with Bob Eubanks.



It was 72 degrees out in Pasadena.


But back here in the below zero frozen tundra of Minnesota, even though the furnace was pumping, I had a heater blasting warm air at my feet and the rest of me was wrapped in a blanket.


As the parade was flowing down the streets lined with people, I was pondering the idea that sometime I was just going to have to go out there to see it in person. One fact that stops me is that I don’t like the idea of standing for hours or camping out overnight on the curb to get a good view. And of course I'm too cheap to buy seats in the viewing stands.


So it seemed like providence when at the same moment I was contemplating heading to California, I heard mentioned on the internet that they had a contest to win the opportunity to sit near the announcers next year at the parade. That sounded like the perfect answer for me!


To win the contest you were supposed to take a picture that would capture the “spirit” of the parade.

Well... I ran to get my camera as I wracked my brain about what would show this "spirit"? Of course I was still trying to watch the parade on all three sites at the same time.


I wanted to show how cold it was here and I saw the Santa hat hanging in our entryway. But I thought that wouldn’t be appropriate since it was now after Christmas and he’s probably back at the North Pole.


So I grabbed my white Russian fake fur hat - it’s warm. Then I added a bright red fuzzy muffler. Also warm. And another touch to show the weather conditions here... mittens! To be used while trying to type on the laptop's keyboard of course!

Outside the window where I was sitting, the snow was piled high.



Since I was still trying to watch all three views of the parade I called Paul downstairs to take a picture.

I thought my little scene showed the happy spirit of the parade you could get even while watching it in the frozen Northland!


It wasn’t until the parade was over that I went to the TV station’s website and waded through all the rules for the contest. That’s when I saw that you had to live in California to be able to enter. Guess that eliminated my entry.


Well, maybe someday I’ll just have to get my sleeping bag and thermos and head out to Pasadena to find a street corner to park on while waiting to see the parade!


On the other hand, I can set up another TV and surround my recliner with videos of the parade. Then spray some flower fragrances in the air for atmosphere. (And just think of having your own bathroom close by!)


"You betcha", the tradition of staying at home can be good too!



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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Grieving... a strange topic for a new year one might think.


A friend wrote that they were working their

way through grieving in this New Year.

***

The thoughts that came to me were as follows:

I don't think we ever get done grieving...

we just give our thoughts a different name...

and our feelings become more contemplative...

and somehow we survive.


Then the beauty that we saw before touches us again...

although moment by moment...

as short breaths in time.


And it is good.




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