Can you tell when someone is lying just by watching their hands or feet? Would you like to know what signals you might be sending out unknowingly? This type of communication may be the least understood and most important facet of communication according to Kevin Hogan of Eagan, MN.
Kevin has a background in psychology and authored 11 books plus several teaching series including Body Language: Decoding, Interpreting & Mastering Nonverbal Communication.
He has assisted all four major television networks and the nation’s largest newspapers. He also teaches Persuasion and Influence at the University of St. Thomas Management Center. He is an international public speaker, consultant and corporate trainer.
On political news programs, Kevin was asked to predict the outcomes of the Bush/Gore and Bush/Kerry campaigns.
He explained how a superior candidate blew his clear lead and position in large part because of body language.
Also, Kevin revealed he was the “ first person to identify that Bill Clinton did indeed have sex with Monica Lewinsky.”
A lawyer explained that they used Hogan's research when coaching defendants, in witness preparation, and selecting a jury.
So what are some hints to look for in body language? Kevin cautions that “… certain body language signals might mean something to one person and something entirely different to someone else. And body language differs culturally… just like different languages. For example: gestures, like raising your middle finger in the U.S. may be derogatory but in another country it can mean “good job."
But deception can be detected by understanding body language. Some people like celebrities, lawyers and politicians may cloak their feelings when in public. Kevin feels you can learn to read them.
Talk about “Body Language!” An invitation to a “party-networking event and charity auction for the homeless” for the top internet marketers in the world recently found Kevin Hogan at the Hugh Hefner home in Los Angeles known as “The Playboy Mansion”.
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Clue #1: Look at their feet. “People generally have no trouble controlling their torso, even their hand gestures and sometimes facial changes. But it is hard for the person who is lying to pay attention to their feet!” Kevin explained that he tries to get “a sense for how their feet normally move in conversation. When someone deceives, their feet "behave" differently. That's my best and probably most reliable cue.”
Clue #2: Look at the pupils in their eyes and watch for changes. “Some peoples’ pupils get bigger and some get smaller. It’s the change he looks for.
Clue #3: Check their attitude… expressions of “boredom, indifference, and unconcern. These are tough states to fake for most people because they are typically unaware of their behavior...” Kevin continued: “The person will try to look indifferent, but because they aren't used to behaving this way they are trying to guess what they are acting like. Unfortunately for them, it's usually a dead giveaway.”
Clue #4: How are they speaking? If people stumble over their words, repeat phrases or words, when this is not their normal behavior, this is a pretty useful "tell" as well.
Clue #5: “Scratching around the mouth or cheek area is considered a dead giveaway that you are lying. And even under the best of circumstances, it looks kinda weird and gross…”
Clue #6: Crossing your arms - people read this as a defensive, nervous gesture. You might not feel this way; it might simply be a position you find comfortable. But perceptions are what count here.
It sounds like a good idea to pay attention to your unconscious perception of what a person really means. And you should check on what you might inadvertently be saying with your own body language!
(Kevin Hogan will be leading a seminar on The Science of Persuasion in London, England in October plus his training series are available at: http://www.kevinhogan.com/.)
When doing a follow-up training program for the account executives at Fortis MeesPierson, the seventh largest private bank in Europe, Kevin was invited to tour the Maserati automobile plant in Bologna, Italy. This Maserati was priced at about $450,000. Two days earlier Kevin had fallen in the street and broken two ribs so there was some pain behind his smile!
