In memory of an editor... and a friend.

A memory of a friend..

Getting to know you…      

  The jobs of a journalist and their editor can be stressful to negotiate. When I left the "big city” for rural Minnesota, a friend asked me how could I do it?   

It wasn’t until I had settled in the country for a couple of years that I got interested in the local newspaper.  I was disturbed by its approach to a situation - so I called the editor to complain.  Dick Dalton took my call and after a few minutes he said: Come in and we’ll discuss it.

Many years later…

It’s over 35 years now and we continued “discussing” things! 

One of the funniest episodes happened in his office. We were on opposite sides on some story.  I have no recollection what it was!

But Dick finally said, “Let’s go home and sleep on it and talk about it in the morning.”  

The next day we were back on opposite sides of his desk and Dick announced that he had changed his mind and had taken my position.   The only problem was that I had changed mine to his!

I said, You can’t do that!  Now we’re just as bad off as before!

But another time…

Another time, I got a story that scooped even the big city television stations. I couldn’t believe the information I was given as a small town reporter.  I had explained to world class attorneys and court house employees and the defendant himself, that I was working for a small town newspaper and wanted to give folks the best information I could - and they all helped me!

But the story happened to involve a close friend of the editor.  When the result of the trial was announced I figured I had a front page story.  But it didn’t get there.

When I saw where the editor had placed it, I “lost it”.  I burst into the newspaper early the next morning and saw the editor working at a table.  I exclaimed, “My story should have been on the front page!” 

He didn’t look at me… I could see he seemed sick… and he said, “I know… I just couldn’t do it.”

I stood still. Nothing to say.  It was then I understood the tragic emotionalism you have to endure when you care about the people that your newspaper will write about.

And I learned to care about an editor who helped me fine tune the journalism career I had chosen.

-30- 

(Old journalistic symbol 
to indicate the “end of story”.)

************
My friend and editor
 passed on 
a couple days 
before my column 
was written. 

What's ahead for you?

Perspective: how do you deal with fear…

The earth’s present pandemic is requiring its inhabitants to alter their life styles in order to change the onward progression of sickness and death.  It is disturbing and fearful for all concerned. 

But to some folks who have seen tragedy in their life before this - it’s simply something to deal with… but not turn yourself into a fear-filled, paranoid acting creature, hiding from life.

This point in time…

Perhaps it’s only in this period of time that people expect a disease to be an unusual event.

What if you lived during the epidemics ravaging the world a hundred years ago?   Or when marauding raiders came pillaging through your little village?

Even American school children in the last century had a taste of programmed fear when they were ordered to hide under their desks as a practice for when Russian bombs would explode outside their windows.  Ever wonder what was being told Russian children?

And remember Korean “Police Action”, Vietnam, etc. 

So while you are “hunkering down”…

Here is some insight from a gentle lady in rural Cannon Falls, who as a child went through the terror of her country being taken over in a revolution.

Marta Garbarino remembers her parents tried to keep her and her sister safe but they couldn’t hide the terror and misery surrounding them in Cuba during that revolution.

She remembers “cowering in bunkers and under beds when the planes dropped bombs and shot down into the towns with their machine guns.” 

And what happened to “grown-ups”?

Marta remembers learning that a cousin of her mother’s had been shot by a firing squad… and that her aunt had been imprisoned for speaking her mind." 

It was terrifying to realize that her father was being held in custody because he refused to sign over the oil refinery of which he was the supervisor. He tried to explain that he did not have the authority to hand it over! 

Their schools closed…

Their Catholic schools were closed and most of the priests and those with religious vocations were forced out of the country.  Food became scarce.  (Not just toilet paper.)

Who could you trust?  

They had to hide during the day “so the government agents wouldn’t know we weren’t in the public school. These were now schools of indoctrination into Communist ideology.”

Marta continued, “There was terror in not knowing which of your neighbors were collaborating with the enemy.   You had to watch what you said to whom.” 

They decided to leave…

Her family knew they would have to leave their homeland.

There was a block in time when they could visit the U.S. and ask for political asylum.  To disguise the fact that they were leaving forever, they could only have “three changes of clothes and one pair of shoes.   

Marta continued, “My mother said one of the hardest things she ever went through was looking out the window of the airplane and seeing her country recede beneath her and knowing she would probably never see it or the rest of her family again.”

“They eventually became naturalized citizens and were always deeply grateful to what they truly believed was the greatest country in the world. They worked hard to live the American Dream.”  

And for Marta?

And then in the fifth grade in a U.S. elementary school, Marta met Joe, the boy she would marry… and end up living on a farm near Cannon Falls, Minnesota... in America.

And what good things can be ahead for you?

Advice for "Captive Families"!

Making memories… 

20 years of Home Schooling 

advice to “Captive Families”!

This is the last year of home schooling their four children by Tim and Joyce Trost, rural Cannon Falls.  They are in their last year of home schooling their four children. They range from: Emi 24, running professionally, graduated from UMD in Sports and Exercise Science and English and will soon be pursuing more schooling for Nutrition and Dietetics.  Karl, 22 will be graduating this fall from University of WI Stout in Engineering Technology and will be pursuing work as a Mechanical Engineer. Dan, 20 is a junior at University of Northwestern studying Engineering, Bible and Math and Aaron, 18 is a senior this year and will be attending University of Northwestern pursing Communications-Radio broadcasting and Music.

   Today’s “forced” home schooling is different.

The Trost’s explain: “Most of the families that are having to teach their kids at home now did not choose to do so, and are having to do it without planning, education in how to do it, having to follow the curriculum of the schools and during a time of significant other stresses. 

“Our hope for families having to do it now is that they would embrace these next few months, ride the wave of being home together, and make memories for a life time!

                                    Key point…

Kids will learn the best during this time if you make it fun, take breaks and do things that are not typical for classroom learning, and do things that are memorable.

               How it’s different today…

“Online learning is different than home education in that the schedule and curriculum is set with live lectures, group meetings and work packets.  But as much as possible, work to find a rhythm that works for your family. 

“This is a change for the kids and and parents both so talk as a family about what works best.  Sometimes our teaching took place early in the morning or later in the evening to flex around our work demands, and sometimes work was interrupted and needed to wait. Parents many want to engage an older sibling to help the younger ones.

               What was an important skill for you?  

“Take time to teach your children things that you as parents always wanted them to learn or experience.  Things like having them be responsible for making dinner once a week (no sports means more time for learning to help the family), doing a house cleaning chore every day (now would be a great time for them to learn to do the laundry, clean the bathroom and do dishes!), and learning to change the oil or do car repairs. All great life skills for after high school too!  

                Fun challenges!

  “Set up daily/weekly challenges. Give them a box of junk or a pile of wood and have a competition to make a contraption, an instrument, or a wagon, or something else... give them a food and have them come up with a recipe to use the food in....or give them some sports equipment and have the kids create an obstacle course for you as parents or each other to do...or have them build a Lego or blocks creation and then either tell you the story around their creation or write about it. Take a walk in the woods for a scavenger hunt and have them wirte about what they saw.

Family bonds…

“These are great times to solidify family bonds. Great time to have kids learn that their siblings are cool and fun to be with. Time to snuggle on the couch and read, read, read, and time to learn grace for each other and your differences.

“Most of all, don't fret over the small stuff and enjoy the memories that this challenge is allowing you to make.

Note from their youngest son, Aaron…  

The importance of flexibility in learning styles… “for example one year we fixed up an old John Deere snowmobile and for that we got a shop/small engine credit. 

  “The main issue was being sure to get all of our scheduled classes (math, science, history, etc.) completed.  When we were younger, mom and dad created a checklist, with a schedule of when we needed to start and finish each class. 

“This allowed us to check off what classes and lessons we had completed for the day. Everything was laid out with a start and end time. This allowed us to stay on schedule and keep that accountability of having a test, or homework, due on a certain day.”

The Trost’s concluded with this point from Chuck Swindol: 

"We are convinced that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it!" 

Friendliness found even 
during the quarantine.

Even if you are “quarantined”… you don’t have to lose contact with folks and feel estranged on this planet.

Cannon Falls kids are seeing friendly looking homes as they walk along the sidewalks for exercise.

This is because homeowners have been putting drawings and  pictures in their windows.  And so, even though they are quarantined and can’t come outside to meet you, they can see the happy expressions on passers-by.

A lot of these are children who are delighted that although they can’t “play” with you… they can still feel the friendliness and companionship that is around them.

“Going on a Bear Hunt!"

  There are kids like Aubrianna and Sophia Farnum out on Gerlach Way near Lake Byllesby.  Their mother Brittney explained, “We live off the lake right down from the beach and park so we get a lot of people walking by! 

But of course you can’t go outside to mingle with them.

Brittney continued, “I first saw an article from Rochester MN of the bears and thought it would  be a fun, cheerful idea for the people who walk by!”

So pictures of bears are posted in windows for the kids to “hunt”.

Look for the rocks!

Then there’s Katie Lundell, who with her husband Derek and 4 year old son, Oliver, have been decorating rocks to place around the community.  

They put them out and want you to enjoy them.  If you can, let them know and they would love to see pictures of where you found them.

Age doesn’t matter!

It seemed lonely walking  in my woods until I saw the " Pine Cone Peeps”!  As you walk along the trails you just might see little pine cones peeking out of old dead trees. (Added beads help their expressions.)  So take a picture of them and at the end of the trail you might find some that you can make too.  

Other ideas are welcomed… 
we’re all quarantined for a while yet!

 We’re on this planet together!

Stay Safe!  

Like an “Outdoor Cat!”

Are you safe?  At your job or in your home?  Pam Collins, a realtor with Edina Realty, recently gave tips to keep you safe in many situations at a Cannon Falls Area TRIAD meeting.

Realtors, for example, meet alone with strangers looking for properties which have been publicly located on the internet, newspapers, etc.   

A cat… really?

Collins suggested you think of yourself as a cat.  But not a cuddly, comfy indoor cat!  You are a vigilant, constantly aware, always on alert, feisty outdoor cat!

Keeping safe!

Here are some suggestions that realtors may consider… and good advice for others too!

• Lock your valuables in the trunk of your car BEFORE you leave home.
• Neighbors are a good source of protection if they know what to look for so you could check with them.
• Don’t park your car in a driveway as it can get blocked in.  
• Observe surroundings before getting out of the car. Is it unusually quiet or is there much activity in the area?  Anyone loitering?  Are there spots someone could hide in?
• After opening up the house, lock the door behind you while you set up your informational display.
• Arrange access to safety devices like pepper spray.  Remember: violence is violent.  Rehearse in your head:  “I will live… I will go home to my babies… my family.”  
• Take out your cell phone.  Review 911 access.  A family member’s number for quick access and a code word to use if you want help sent.  This shouldn’t be anything dramatic.  Just asking them to email a red file, for example.  But they’ll know you need the police.
• Hide your purse.  Plan escape routes.  Never get pinned in a room where they can block the door.  Never follow them to the basement… stay on the stairs.
• Or if you just want to leave the house and get to your car, explain that you left important information in the car or “Another agent with buyers is on the way.”
• Mentally rehearse your plans… see yourself fighting so you can go on “automatic pilot” in a bad situation.
• Later on you can report suspicious activity/people (even if you’re not attacked) to your local office, other realtors, and if appropriate, law enforcement.  
• Or take a self defense class.
• Keep your house and car keys on separate rings when you hand them over for something like car repairs.  Don’t hide them outside the house in the usual places near a door.
• After the open house ends, check the home for windows or doors that have been unlocked with the possible idea of a return visit from a criminal who was touring.

Also keep in mind…

There are other threats to complicate the situation.  Like angry pets left in the house, squirrels trapped inside and … ghosts!  (But that’s for another column!) 
          For now remember: Be an outdoor cat!  
           Prepare… then    Run... Hide... or Fight! 

Memory from the past...

A picture from the past

   means something else today... 

 A man died… way too young.  At his funeral in a distant town, many pictures were displayed representing his life.

I didn’t know him.  

I wasn’t there.

So why do I care?

Pictures from the past...

A friend of mine was at the funeral and when he looked at the wall of photos displayed of the man’s life he noticed one that turned out to be important to me.

You see, I was in the background in the picture.

But it hadn’t been taken of me.

How did you know?

The scene was of my horse corral.

I had mowed the grass and shoveled the manure.

I had worked and trained the horses.

I had fed them every day and called the vet when needed.

Plus this…

In the picture's background I was walking with another horse and a small child was on it.

And the man - whose funeral was now being held - was standing smiling next to another child riding a horse.

It was several years ago.

And I said to my friend who had snapped a picture of the photo displayed… “I want a copy.”

Why?

I wanted a copy… not because I was in the picture.

But because it touched a part of my heart - just like in the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life.  This is a classic about a man who had given up his dreams but his guardian angel showed him all the people whose lives he had touched.

And although I’ve never sat and watched the whole film, I like the story.

And…

That day years ago, when parents and kids came to play at our farm, was a wonderful time for me too.

But now, so many years later, it means a lot to have that memory revived.

And I have the gift of knowing that it was good to have worked so hard to create the scene in the picture for others to enjoy. 

His smiling face…

I wish I could tell him “Thank You” for coming that day… and smiling.

Confused?  A new way to find help!

 A new car seemed to be in my future.

Although I have been driving many years, I thought it would be good to check out the new options you can get.  The car came with about seven manuals!

Driving history…

Keep in mind that I have driven a “stick shift”… a RAM truck with a 16 foot horse trailer… and a mini motorcycle -  (spun out on a gravel road while wearing shorts… no damage except some scrapes to me and I was wiser).

Special features…

Anyway… after test driving a couple of cars I chose a cute red one.  The dealer set me up with voice recognition for my phone, etc. and I headed out to drive the hour or so to get home.

I’m still getting used to the beeping sound when I get near a line on the road and yes, I know I can turn it off.

The cruise control is fascinating because as I was following a semi I watched as my car automatically slowed down behind it and actually came to a stop a few feet behind the semi when it stopped… and I hadn’t touched the brake.  (Yes, I had my foot ready to do that!)

So I figured: we’re good.

Until I got home…

I parked the car and started turning off gauges.  Shifted into “Park”.  Turned off the ignition button.

But I didn’t dare get out!

I worried:

What if I hadn’t turned off everything and the car started rolling?  My mind raced.  Could I have missed something?

Saved!

All of a sudden my eyes saw one of the “TV screens” on the dashboard.  It had information on it.   It said: ”Good bye”.  I could get out of the car!

Whew!

After this I found the driving was good… but I wanted to figure out more of the options.   And I found I had accidentally canceled some and couldn’t get others to work.  (You knew I would do this,)

Frustrated because I was too far from the dealer to check in… and I didn’t know friends who had this info… I also searched on the internet… and I finally put an ad in the newspaper!  Under “Wanted”.   

My ad…

My ad  explained that I wanted help from someone with my type of car so I could learn from verbal instruction rather than just reading the manuals.  I also said that I was an 81 year old grandma who had bought a car that was good for “off roading” and although I didn’t plan to do that, I was leaving the streaks of mud on my car to make a good impression!

Help was coming!

I got four replies! One turned out to be from a friend I hadn’t seen in years.  We had a good time catching up on our lives… and she patiently “walked me through” some of the stuff.

But I also know that if I need help again I can contact Jenny, Sue, Kent or Tricia!

Thanks to you all!