Win... or lose - what can you gain?

To win... when you lose an argument?

      What’s more important?

A relationship or an argument?

It’s a no brainer to some folks I suppose.  Unless you have been taught to enjoy the challenge of a quality “discussion”!  

There aren’t many of these nowadays it seems to me.  Folks just get nasty.  And I have fallen into that trap too.

But I smile as I think of many years ago when I decided to lose an argument because I saw a higher purpose.

Not trained to lose...

Actually, losing an argument isn’t part of my upbringing. But my father had a purpose in teaching me to stand up for my position.

I believe he was trying to help me avoid some of the stupider teenage episodes by teaching me not to follow whatever the “crowd” was doing.

And... I think he secretly just loved to “argue”.

Training...

The only time I remember well though is when we were arguing over a particular religious belief.  About who was God.  

Kind of a hard topic at any age and I think I was only about nine years old.

I was no match for my Dad.

I struggled to convince him with everything my childish mind knew but I finally conceded defeat.

Afterwards, all he did was walk by me as he left the room and quietly said, “You should have stuck to your guns.  You were right.”

I was totally shocked!

And I was “hooked”.

So when I grew up I still enjoyed a good “discussion”.

What happened later...

“Fast forward” many years later.

We had a distant relative that we only met at gatherings once a year or so.

He was a brain surgeon.

What I have discovered from some of these medical specialists is that they are convinced they are always right.  And I figured they needed this psychologically because of the traumatic decisions they had to make.

But that didn’t mean I gave him any leeway!

And it also didn’t mean that I enjoyed losing an argument!

But while traveling on the way to one family gathering, I decided I would lose the first argument we had.  (Notice it was just a practical conclusion that we would argue!  But also, I only had control over what I did.)

So what happened?

 I remember him standing in front of the fireplace in the home and I was so relieved when I discovered  the subject wasn’t that important to me.  I really didn’t care which way the argument went!

And I lost the argument.

But what I gained was so much more important.

I gained the ability to really enjoy the presence of a wonderful man.  One who was very intelligent (doesn’t mean he was always right though!) and one who had gone through many struggles.

This became a “teaching moment” for me that I recalled many times when I was challenged to argue.   

Although this episode happened many years ago, I was surprised when I heard he had recently asked a relative about me...  and if I was still arguing!  (I guess you can tell that after that one time of losing an argument I didn’t give up challenging ideas!)

At his funeral recently - he was 88 years old - I know the world is going to miss him and his “suggestions”.

I do.

(Rest in peace Dr. Al.)

 What’s better than a miracle?  

Do I really want to see a miracle?

Or would I rather just go quietly along in life without needing one?

Some time ago I thought there were probably lots of miracles, (or unknown actions as they may be called,) happening but we just don’t recognize them.  

So I decided I wanted to be aware of them.

Now, I’m not so sure.

I like to be in control.  Or choose someone else that I trust to be in charge.  (But that’s still holding on to being in control isn’t it?)

And miracles tell me I’m not.

Paul was mowing trails when his tractor started to flip over.  It’s an 8N Ford with a five foot mower attached.

No roll bar - no seat belt.

It's tipping!

The right wheels of the tractor had driven over a heavy branch-log that had been hidden in the high grass and gotten stuck in the mower.

The tractor started tipping over.  Paul found himself falling off to the left but his right foot got caught under the brake pedal.   

Then -  amazingly - the tractor "righted itself"!  And his leg accidentally pushed the gear shift into neutral so it stopped moving ahead.

Paul was still pinned and in a lot of pain, with one leg up over the transmission and his head and shoulders on the ground.  But he believed he was no longer in danger of being run over by the huge rear wheel and chopped up by the mower.

Then he also realized he could reach up to the ignition switch and turn off the tractor.

But he still couldn't get loose.

Any help?

His cell phone had flown from his pocket.

He was about an eighth mile from the house.

No one heard him call out for help.

Or did they?

For some reason at that time I decided to ride my bike the half mile to get the mail at the county road.  Haven’t done that this year. 

I had heard the tractor turn off about 15-20 minutes before but that’s not unusual if Paul is working on a project.  He had been chainsawing trees in the woods by himself previously and stopped many times.  (Every time I heard it stop I had thoughts of chopped off arms, etc. but figured I had to control my imagination.)

So as I pedaled along the road I noticed the tractor stopped down the hill on a trail from our entry gate.  I might not have seen this if I had been driving the car.

I called out, “Are you OK?”

No answer.

I figured he had just gone off somewhere but I called again and heard a small voice respond: “No.”

I leaned my bike against a fence post and went to check him out.

Power Lifter?  Nope.

       Remember hearing those stories about a 90 pound woman who lifts a car off someone?

Not me.

I’m more than 90 pounds anyway - and Paul is a chunk - so I told him he was going to have to pull himself up but I would help!

He was probably still in shock so he just did what I told him to!

And thinking what it might have looked like if the mower had run over him, I told him that I would not have wanted to be the one to find him then!

We finally got him back up and he raised the PTO lever and got the mower lifted so I could pull away the log that had tipped the tractor.

And off he went to finish the job.

We were concerned about his back surgery from a few months ago but he seems to be recovering with just scrapes and scratches.

So what really happened?

Paul believes God and the angels were helping him.

I don’t know much about miracles.

But now I think that “not needing” them is a nicer way to live!

Although, with all the bad stuff happening in the world, maybe just living a “quiet and peaceable life” is the real miracle!

Amen.

.

 

Hope found...

Even with all the turmoil in the world... hope appeared. At a funeral, no less! Even though disastrous headlines may show the cruelty of man... and the emptiness of souls... I found hope at a gathering of broken-hearted folks as they mourned the death of the individual who was their mother... relative... or friend. She wasn't a famous person, this Mary Olson.  Even her name was not unusual... we're in Scandinavian Minnesota ya know!   Nor was she highly honored... except in the hearts of those who knew her. As I sat in the balcony of the little old church on the prairie for her memorial service, I was encouraged by the words of those who had known and loved her. The pastor went though the old liturgy as you would expect.  The songs were ones I presumed she would have loved. Although I, with my usual wandering mind appreciated it... at the same time I worried if the old balcony I was sitting in was strong enough to hold the crowd of people jammed in!  And then I thought about all the chores I could be doing... and so on. But my concentration came back when her son Wyatt spoke.  He explained how Mary had passed away after heart surgery.  And it was "not surprising" that her heart was prematurely worn out, he concluded.   "If the heart is where love comes from, then (hers) got a real workout. "She empathized with people.  She made them feel special.  She brought them comfort.  She put her heart out there for others." His sister Cammy told the congregation that her mother "has given me great inner strength.  I don't mourn my Mom today, I celebrate her life.  What she gave to the world, her family, her friends... "The good deeds she has done.  The smiles she has brought forth.  She always helped people.  She saw a need and acted.  She taught her children to help." And because of this training, when Cammy was on her way to the church she had stopped at a gas station.   The lady at the next pump had realized she had forgotten her purse and asked for $3 so she could just get a gallon of gas and could get her grandson in the car to his destination. When going inside to pay, the clerk explained to Cammy that she didn't see people help a stranger very often. But Cammy had been taught by Mary. And she concluded that "There are people all over this world who need us to help them in their daily lives.  People all over this world need our kindness.  They need that spirit of giving without expecting anything in return." Cammy pointed to a table filled with angel figurines that Mary had collected over the years.  It was the wish of Cammy, Wyatt and their sister Deanna that everyone take one home and remember Mary. Cammy concluded, Let it be a reminder of "what good and kindnesses you can share with the world each day.  Be someone's angel." Thereby you will be continuing Mary Olson's legacy. Because of this experience, I have been given back some hope in mankind.   And so I thank all the quiet and hidden "Marys" in the world... and the folks who honor them. .

No where else on the planet!

    Rare species blooming here.

The larger and more common Trout Lily is surrounded by the 

endangered species of wildflower, the tiny Dwarf Trout Lily.

It's that time of year in the Cannon Valley!

The budding of the rare and endangered forest wildflower, the Dwarf Trout Lily (Erythronium propullans), that only grows in in this area and nowhere else on the entire planet.

Each spring, folks search for the tiny flower in the river bottoms, also in state parks and along trails.    

Concern this year is due to the effect of flooding and the deposit of sand on some of the known colonies.

The Dwarf Trout Lily is only about six inches tall with four to six petals that may be pale pink to whitish, about the size of a dime as compared to the larger Trout Lily which has a flower size  of about a quarter.  

It is found on fewer than 600 acres of woodland habitat, rich slopes that are dominated by maple and basswood and adjoining floodplains dominated by elm and cottonwood.  It grows before the deciduous trees develop their leaves and in approximately three weeks it has  bloomed, generated its food reserves for the coming year and disappeared.

“The Minnesota dwarf trout lily possesses a genetic and chemical makeup unlike that of any other plant... (and) is potentially valuable to all of us... (as) ingredients in medicines and other useful products." It is listed as federally endangered with a penalty for violation set at $25,000.  (Information from Minnesota Department of Natural Resources.)

For more information look at the video on www.paulrosie.com or contact Paul and Rosie Schluter, spiritsonghorses@yahoo.com or Pat Anderson at the Cannon Falls Chamber of Commerce, www.cannonfalls.org.

Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder

              A place where even a

       “Nobody” is a “Somebody”

A couple of days before 14 time Grammy Award Winner Ricky Skaggs and the Kentucky Thunder came to perform in Cannon Falls, I was exchanging phone and e-mail messages with  his staff to find out how I could cover his concert as a photo journalist.

Their legal statement seemed to say there could be no flash photos and no audio recording.  

But how do I report on this public event to the newspaper and cable channel with that prohibition?

The result was that after they checked out my request including my website (www.paulrosie.com) so they could see my previous programs, columns, etc. they decided to allow me to take photos during the first three songs only.  They requested approval rights of all photos to be published.  Any video would have to be pre-approved.

This was getting a little irritating for someone who has been a journalist for 50 years.  But on the other hand, I could understand their concerns.

And I have had so many wonderful stories resulting from frustrating circumstances in the past that I just figured there’s another good one hiding in here somewhere!

(Not the paparazzi point of view perhaps.)

So why not respect their request?  At the worst I would still get to hear some fantastic music.

Now consider that it was my first exposure to an entire concert of bluegrass music.  I didn’t recognize any songs.  But you had to be amazed at how fast they were played!    

And I got to thinking of all the work involved in the performance.  It was a fundraiser for the local Shepherd’s Center and involved a lot of effort and dedication from sponsors and volunteers.  I’m sure it was a scary venture too because it costs a lot to get a world famous group like this here.

Shepherd's Center Director, Rod Johnson, Ricky Skaggs and 

SC assistant, Twyla Geiken.

Then I pondered all the work the musicians had to do to perform.   

Consider all the years of practice to get to be the awesome performers they are.

Consider the energy they need to set up their equipment, the travel time, and what about if they aren’t feeling so good?  What if they had worries of their own?  The show goes on... you’ve got a lot of folks depending on you.

After the performance this night, the happy crowd milled around outside the auditorium as the musicians manned the tables selling and autographing their CD’s.

Several local folks kidded me that although the audience had been warned not to take pictures or record the performance, they had seen me with my camera videoing close to the stage.

And they chuckled when I told them some of the restrictions I had been given in order to do this.  I revealed that I had been a bit frustrated when flashes from the audience betrayed “illegal” photos being taken and I couldn’t let myself be tempted to do this!

Later some folks were getting their pictures taken with Skaggs himself.  So when I was talking with him I decided I would do that too... to prove to my kids that I really met him.

After my photo was snapped I started moving away so others could photo Skaggs.  But one local resident called out, “Stay there Rosie!”

So I was in their picture too.  And Skaggs commented, “They know you here.”  

I just smiled.

You don’t have to be famous in a small town.

Many years ago after we moved to Cannon Falls from a big city suburb I had coined the phrase: “Everybody in a small town is a Somebody... even if you’re a Nobody.”  

That’s the fun of it.

(Check for video coming on www.paulrosie.com)

If it looks suspicious...  

I received a box in the mail but didn’t recognize the return address.   I was suspicious because our e-mail had just been hacked and also there wasn't an invoice in the package to identify it.

I contacted UPS and Amazon and they couldn't track it either.

So to be safe I stuck it out in a shed.

The next day a relative e-mailed that they had sent a package to us to give to another relative as a surprise!   

They were lucky I hadn’t blown it up!  (I think I've been reading too many crime novels!)

And here’s another warning - be suspicious if you get an e-mail asking you to send money to me in the Philippines.  I’d prefer if you just sent it to me here at home!  (OK - I’m kidding!) 

Yes - I got “hacked”.   

It was 7 a.m. when I got my first phone call asking me about my trip to the Philippines!  And then an e-mail came from a friend in law enforcement who had no sympathy to my “plea” and e-mailed “Ha ha ha”.  (My friends are funny!)

A cousin in Wisconsin got a call from relatives in Germany (she speaks the language better than I do) who had heard I needed money - in the Philippines.

Frontier, my internet provider, helped me send out e-mails to everyone in my address book warning them not to pay attention to my “request”.

This whole process took several hours and was a mess.

 How to protect yourself...

   A friend who asked to only be identified as a 16 year resident of Cannon Falls with a long career in education and law enforcement, recently had his e-mail hacked even though he was careful of any unsolicited email.  

  He explained that the key to not becoming a victim rests largely with the individual.   

Be aware that legitimate internet fraud complaint centers associated with the FBI and States Attorneys’ Office will not request payment for service nor will they request extensive personal information. 

   One point was to have “a separate address for your friends to e-mail, a separate address for work and a separate address for family. This way, if one account is hacked only a handful of people are affected.”

   More suggestions...

Here are some more suggestions to protect yourself as explained by the Goodhue County Elder Justice Network, Jennifer Cook contact.

Don't use the same password on Facebook or any other social network that you use on other websites.  

 If you think something's amiss with a request you receive, contact the sender through another channel — such as a phone. 

Never open emails that don't include your actual email address in the "To:" line. Fakes are often addressed en masse to dozens of random email addresses.

Roll your cursor over any URL sent in an email to reveal where it really goes. The text displayed may be completely different from the actual destination.

Beware any URL that is excessively long or uses numbers (such as 192.155.12.38) instead of a traditional URL format.

Beware URLs that have been shortened, disguising where they actually go.   They frequently are used by scammers to hide the identity of malicious websites.

Wi-Fi hot spots

The rapid growth of Wi-Fi hot spots has made it convenient to crack open your laptop and hop online just about anywhere.  Crooks operate lookalike hot spots with the sole purpose of eavesdropping on all the data you send through it. When you type in your password, Social Security number or credit card information, scammers can capture it all and be on a fast track to stealing your identity. 

Another less common attack involves a hacker simply eavesdropping on a legitimate wireless connection by using special equipment to capture your signal, either from next door or while driving down the street.

Most phony hot spots leave telltale signs that they aren't legit, such as typos, strange sign-in web page designs or URLs that don't seem right. If you aren't 100% sure a site is legitimate, don't sign in to it. 

It's also a good idea to do your banking and bill-paying at home, on a line you know is secure. Make sure you're using Wi-Fi Protected Access 2 security on your home router and protect it with a strong password, such as a combination of numbers and letters.

Any “pop-up” asking for money is undoubtedly malware and not part of a legitimate security program.  

So if you plan to protect yourself from fraudulent e-mail requests,  I guess that means you won’t be sending me any money in the Phillipines!

Wise decision.

.

Who had the Strictest Parents?

You think your folks were strict? What if your mom was a prison warden and your dad was a probation/parole officer? And if they left town they had the local police check out how their kids were doing at home! 

This is how it was in the home of the first female warden in 122 years at the Minnesota Correctional Facility in Red Wing. Kathy Halvorson visited Cannon Falls recently to respond to questions from kids and adults at a meeting of TRIAD at the Shepherd's Center. 

Halvorson has had many previous jobs in the field of corrections to prepare for this position. Those in the Red Wing facility are "serious chronic male offenders." They may range from aggravated robbery, controlled substance crime, to murder - unintentional or intentional. They may have had two to three placements that failed. Current juvenile population is 130. There are also adult male offenders. Over 40 currently reside in a separate area.

The Red Wing facility was built on a 450 acre site in 1891. The purpose was to restore the offender, promote public safety, and provide a therapeutic environment, among other goals.

They keep order by making sure the boys are safe and keeping them in small groups consistent with their age level. They don't socialize with the adult offenders.

Halvorson explained that they have nine months to a year to help the young men make better choices. This includes helping them find jobs. The costs: 65% is paid by the county and 35% by the state.

She added, "Some of the opportunities for residents include attending Walter Maginnis High School, located in the facility, learning carpentry skills, job seeking skills and vocational programming. Residents also participate in community service projects and projects that focus on restoring justice to victims. 

"The adult population is made up of minimum custody offenders who serve on work crews around the community. They often assist local communities when nature disasters strike, like the Cannon Falls flooding last year." 

Besides professional help for the young men, there are over 200 volunteers at the facility. These range from volunteer "grandparents" who make sure every kid gets a cake on their birthday, or they make cookies so the good smell permeates their cottage.

 

And as far as I'm concerned about who had the strictest parents? I had them! Although they weren't wardens or parole officers, they were immigrants with a high standard for their American offspring! Something to live up to anyway... and not a bad deal when I think about it!